wow how things have changed....

....do you ever wish you could go back and just slap you a few years ago! cuz I DO! all of my clothes are size 4 and 6.....heck even my maternity jeans are size 6(i bought them at about 3 months before i had even gained any weight just had a pooch....oh my i thought i was huge! there is a slap me moment)....yep i now struggle to get those up...my maternity jeans!! now i'm lucky to fit in a 10....if i'm sounding obnoxious right now...please forgive me...so i finally bit the bullet and went to buy jeans today! with my husband and 6 month old(i so thought i would be in all my clothes and honky dory again when he was this old, but hey these 20 lbs have grown to like me i guess!) well we go in to old navy and i'm looking at some jeans trying to come up in my head what size i should try on...ben asks a sales lady about where things are...she's sweet i tell her what i'm looking for we get to talking...she asks what size i'm looking for....i say "well i was a six before you know(pointing at my adorable baby)...now i don't really know!" she laughs and goes "oh i totally understand"....i ask about a particular kind i didnt' know about she goes oh these are great! there for women like us...keep that extra junk in!ha (kinda bugged me but hey)....we call them our mom jeans(not old navy, the sales lady and her friends).....i now so badly do NOT want to try these on.....yes i am a mom and it is the best thing i have ever done....but i am 21!!!! i ask now there not you know mom jeans(jesturing just below my boobs) and she goes oh now they just have a thicker panel....blah blah...so i grab a pair just in case....she then points to some other racks saying they are on sale but there not really anything i will wear again(ok huh?)....oh and then says or atleast i can't....i am now more than ever determined to try these pants on....so i grab some skinny jeans and a few different options(grabbing a couple sizes i am praying to God do not fit me!)....i go skim the baby clothes....fighting back every shopoholic gene in my body to put away the outfit that is 20 for something he will grow out of immediately....grab him some jeans and a cute sweater and a hat that looks like a mohawk my husband is drooling over....and we make our way to the dressing room(on the way i can hear that music that you hear in scary movies as the girl is walking down the hallway with a bat, you know as you sit there and scream at the screen 'RUN AWAY YOU IDIOT'!)....so we go in and ben sits down with that look of do i really have to be here....pretty much men are useless when trying on clothes(actually i take that back....my dad is a pretty good shopping companion)....everything looks fine....even when it looks like you just wrapped up two sausages and painted them blue....so i tried on everything....the size i was fearful of did not fit...which was very nice! the skinny jeans fit but i finally went with....dun dun dun....the so called mom jeans! they looked best...ben agreed...let me clarify they are not the jeans from that SNL skit....they do not go up to my waist....they just aren't so low you see my butt crack! i felt soooooo old!

Just one of those days...

You have all these expectations for yourself....you'll do this and that and it will all be wonderful and you have those rose colored glasses on...let me start out by saying i am incredibly blessed...i have a wonderful husband who loves me(and whom i love) and a beautiful baby boy...but i've just had a kinda depressed sorta day! nothing bad has happened just in a mood...it bugs me because this is not me! i would much rather walk around with my rose colored glasses on and smile and ignore the bad and just pay attention to the good! but i'm just not feelin good right now...i wish all of my laundry was always done and folded and ironed and put away! but even as soon as you get everything done there is always that little pile that sneaks up out of nowhere! ha you know you have expectations for yourself and then when you don't fulfill them perfectly it just kinda bugs you! i want my menu to be planned out for the week(as well as all the coupons printed), all my dishes to be clean all the time, my base boards to be cleaned, floors spotless, sheets clean and ironed, closets organized, toe nails painted, lol etc etc...but then Hunter wants to be held and i'm sorry(actually i'm not and i never will be) i will drop whatever i'm doing and go sit and kiss my little man...So everything else can wait...i have no clue where i'm going with this i just have no interest in going to bed right now so i just thought i'd write...and it's not really going anywhere...oh well here's to randomness!;)

Mush!

So um when you have a baby alot of your life becomes about mush.lol....ha your changing mushy diapers, you see your stomach and you think mush(i mean it's getting better[it even looks flat again sometimes] but boy honey that was not a fun surprise to see! i mean they deflated the good year blimp and it is attached to your body!), baby food(which by the way can actually sound good but the second you see it or smell it it ain't so pretty!) and it's even prettier coming back out!(did i just go too far? oops!), oh sometimes your brain even goes to mush....ha i am by myself and i suddenly realize i am talking to myself in babytalk! lol yes my little man is my best friend...he's my little buddy...i love having him with me! but i may need to talk to an adult a little more often:) oh and then there is the good mush...little squishy mushy cheeks...both sets! i love love all his mush and i must say i squeeze and tickle and kiss him all the time! once he can talk he'll probably tell me i drive him crazy! well anyways Hunter is growing like a weed and so so smart! i love watching those chunky fingers grabbing for stuff...he can crawl/scoot now! and almost full on crawl! he can get up on all fours but he just kinda shakes and sometimes lunges forward....he also learned to spit!haha which may sound stupid but its so funny! well anyways(i think i say that too often, pardon me) that's all for now...oh i also can't sleep my son's room is too far away for my liking and i am constantly worrying about him...ugh so when i write these it will probably be late!