Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Overwhelmed and Crazy!

ok so i am officially feeling crazy!! there is just too much to do! first we decided to have people over this saturday as our last thing at our house before the baby gets here...yep that thought was officially stupid...what in the world? i'm 9 months pregnant and i'm gonna have a bunch of people and some children over to my house! that involves cleaning, cooking, dealing with people all over my house and watching to make sure children don't get into things they shouldn't and then the next day cleaning up everything! Also, i just finished one research paper for one of my classes tonight and i'm supposed to have a rough draft for my other class ready to turn in  tomorrow! needless to say that ain't gonna happen! oh can i mention my child has been trying to kill me today?! oh my gosh he dropped even lower so i have had almost constant sciatic nerve pain whenever i try and walk today and he had something(i'm assuming his butt) lodged under my rib cage making me feel like i was just waiting to hear a crack for like 2 straight hours! not to mention these lovely "practice" contractions have been making an appearance more and more! and because he's bigger they are just so comfortable!! let me tell ya! oh and i ordered some packet about working at home...just to make a little extra money while i'm staying home with my baby and it got here and i have an appt tomorrow at 1 to talk to someone about it....i have to have all the info gone through by then too...oh oh and to continue my whining...i have a humongous pile of laundry just waiting on me in my bedroom....and a couple boxes of baby things still to go through! also his bed is all set up, sheets clean, etc but his cradle which will be in our room doesn't have a mattress yet! i need to go and buy things to make something for it! oh my goodness did i mention nine months friday(if not more, i've always thought my doctor was a week or two off) and every day i feel more and more ready to have him!!! so in the next two days i need to do this home business stuff, write my research paper, clean my house completely, and shop and figure out what to have food wise on saturday! oh oh and also i have turned into such a wheeping drives me crazy! i swear someone could say boo and i would puddle! i am officially nutz!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Awake, so why not!

So it is 1:31 am to be exact! yep i no longer sleep...and well i'm thinkin maybe it's good, i've definitely gotten used to it...ya know by the time i become that exhausted, haggard new mom?! So today was just one of those days....ya know the ones where at one point you want to completely slap someone across the face and then another you could burst into tears and become a weeping mess...oh how lovely i felt today!
so i went on my labor and delivery tour today! how fun does that sound? oh and i also got to go alone because ben had to go to physical therapy...i had to hold my irrational hormones from getting ahold of my tongue over that one...i don't like walking around by myself places anymore...i feel like i have a big sign on me that saying hey big ol' pregnant lady here....stare and wonder! oh and possibly touch! i thought that we would just go to the L&D floor and they would show us around...WRONG...we meet in the OB clinic...which just going there make my blood boil because of the doc appts or lack there of that i have had there...ok so me and the other group of preggos and a few lucky husbands are yes i am not a nice person i have realized least i'm not in my head girl was barely looking pregnant but she looked so cute with her little outfit and constant smile i couldn't even be annoyed by her...another wore capris, and then ankle socks with her slip on shoes...ok can we say pet peeve?! and then there was another girl who was cute and made me atleast not feel like the "lone whale"(she was not a whale but atleast looked as pregnant as i did)...another who i didn't believe was pregnant til she sat down and started rubbing her itty bitty belly...and then she would randomly grimace as the kid kicked her...i really wanted to yell "honey, you've got a misquito bite for a belly how in the world can you be in enough pain to grimace...let's switch babies for a might be in the floor if you think that's bad!"...did i mention the i will slap you mood?! ok wow sorry that was we barely leave the clinic and she stops us in front of the main doors!! are you serious!? and then talks loudly about this is the main desk blah blah people are walking around us and i stare at my phone and remember I HATE TOURING PLACES! so then we barely walk again and she shows us the admissions office...really that's what that is? the big sign in front of it did nothing for me! ok so we finally get to go the the elevators and go to teh postpartum floor....halelujah...we get on and one of the girls who has a stroller with a little girl with her gets one last...the doors close and she goes oh yeah she hates elevators...the kids starts screaming!!!! seriously?! you obviously know where everything is you just did this the kid isn't even 2! she doesn't pick the kid up nothing...just lets us all enjoy the ride! oh wow sorry i'm really not trying to be a witch....just can't help it sometimes! ok so i'll try and finish this up we tour the postpartum rooms(can we say claustrophobia?!?!? even if i can't spell it) and then the labor and delivery rooms(surprisingly nice) then the lady goes ok well i have a video for y'all it's only about 30! gotta love educational we start the video and ok no naked women screaming this is explains everything anyone who has done any reading already knows...and interviewing moms etc...then it's starts talking about crowning and delivery and bam! without warning....crotch shot!! hello i do not want to see that!!! "and this is what this looks like!" oh my i didn't ask!!! so then they proceed to show the buck naked women(can someone please explain to me why she didn't even have a gown or bra on? i mean you know people are filming you!) have her baby...i'm sorry if this offends i know it is the 'miracle of life' and it is amazing, which it is....but there is nothign beautiful about that! no one should be subjected to seeing that! if they bring one of those stupid mirrors in when i'm having my baby i might go ahead and kick someone in the head...i'm already feelin it, i don't need to see it! ok?! oh oh oh and can i please mention this was a video made in the 80s! that makes it like 20 times different....grooming was a little different then! ok so anyways yay! the white-covered, gooey, goblin-looking child is born(don't deny it you know what i'm talking about, yes babies are beautiful but they look like little goblins right after they're born)....ok so i think there not gonna show anymore of that....WRONG...hello i might have gagged a bit...i've become nauseous again the last few days...and the happy new family...woman still naked....SO there is my L&D tour story...i know you wish you could've been there!!

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Being a "Grown-Up"

How did this happen??? life changes so quickly sometimes it takes the breath out of me! it's so crazy to think that 2 years ago all i had to worry about was what i was gonna do tonight and when my next test was...NOW! i have laundry to do, dirty dishes in the sink, a car in the driveway that needs to be fixed(because it committed suicide randomly a few weeks ago) so we can sell it and then sell my husbands truck to reconfigure our car situation with a baby, a nursery to finish and so so much to clean and organize...oh and i still have a research paper to finish for tomorrow night! and i can't sleep at night...this little boy will be calm and just kinda hang out throughout the day and then at night he KILLS me! i was up until 4 or 430 am because i just couldn't go to sleep through it...i would doze off and right when i was about to be asleep he would push with all his might against my what a story that would be to hold over his head for the rest of his life...not the oh well when i was in labor with you for 36 hours and yada yada yada but well when i was pregnant and YOU CRACKED MOMMY'S RIB! so i can't sleep at night and therefore end up waisting my day because i'm so tired! ugh....and my husband has had to work so much he can't honestly help with too much of it and i completely understand! so anyways there it is....i'm gonna go fix myself dinner cuz my hubby is on duty AGAIN! for the umteenth time....seriously i'm thankful he broke his leg...first and foremost he isn't deployed right now and will be here for the birth of our son and second we actually got to spend time together!!! if he hadn't i'm pretty sure i would have spent the majority of our first year of marriage alone...joys of military life:) please don't get me wrong...i mean i love love love my husband to death and am so thankful i get to be a mommy to this preciuos little boy(even if sometimes i would like to evict him right now!)....and i really wouldn't change a thing about my life...i mean i've learned something from every experience and all the "things" ben and i have had to deal with throughout this year have only helped us....two weeks before our wedding he found out he wasn't getting his leave he requested months beforehand and might not even make it to our wedding...i mean we went from being married and him being gone almost the entire time, to the awfulness of him breaking his leg and then we were together literally 24/7 for months and months...and then i found out i was pregnant! oh my goodness...and i'm proud to say we still laugh together almost everyday and he is absolutely my best friend...through the trials you build up strength...i mean we have the reassurance that whatever life might throw at us we can make it and struggle through it together...yes we're still learning but how old are you when you stop learning??? hey atleast this year hasn't been boring! went from this.....
to this....hey somthings different....
completely in love and oblivious to what all was coming......
he hated being up in front of all those people...doesn't he look terrified? hah i love this picture
i think i would have laughed in your face if you had told me these next two pictures were gonna be where we were at on our first anniversary!

everything happens for a reason...and i whole-heartedly believe this little boy was meant to be a part of our life right now....

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Not so graceful!

So I'm not even really sure what this blog is going to be about! i guess whoever decides to read this will have to deal with the randomness that is my mind lately....hey i'm 8 and a half months pregnant i'm lucky it works at all! and sometimes is doesn't...ask my husband the simplest word can absolutely escape me! So as i said in the "about me" thing i just had my first wedding anniversary and i'm also expecting my first needless to say this first year has been crazy and surprising! oh also if one sentence has nothing to do with the one in front of it, sorry, if you talked to me in person it would be the same thing!

So i am just so completely done! i mean don't get me wrong i am so thankful for this blessing in our life and
that i am in fact able to carry him! BUT having said that....i'm so over this! i'm done....
~looking completely ridiculous getting in and out of my car
~being fat....not so fond of it!
~getting out of breath from picking a sock off the floor
~oh also just realized i don't have any warm weather clothing that fits me!
~HIGH HEELS...oh how i miss my shoes....they just sit there lonely, not  being worn!
~feeling like a turtle that's been flipped over if i'm laying on my back(oh how this entertains my husband)
~oh and sorry if this is "innappropriate" but boobs...i mean come on they should not be at your chin and
the letter E should be nowhere in my wardrobe!
~not being able to bend or twist
~not being able to stand for more than 5 or 10 minutes without feeling like my son will literally fall out or he starts head butting me!
~this little boy is so so strong...he kills me now when he moves or stretches(sorry little man there is no more room!)
Anyways, there is my little vent for the day...even if no one reads this i feel slightly better just typing it! oh and here is my fear for the day(well month)....i can totally see me walking by myself in walmart or something and my water breaking( i know this is highly unlikely)...then i will have to waddle all the way to my car through the store looking(soaking wet) as if i have peed my pants...i can just totally see something like that happening to me! oh the things people don't tell you about pregnancy...seriously all people tell you is how wonderful and amazing it is...which is is but i mean come on ladies! everything unattractive that can happen to a person, can happen to you when pregnant! i even read somewhere you can grow hair on your face! (this has not happened to me, thank you jesus!) i mean how cruel every inch of you is already expanding daily and then you can spout chin hair! seriously! God has such a sense of humor!